Sunday, July 19, 2009

One Step Forward, A Million Steps Back

My Dad called this morning.

Dad: Do you remember when Justin had some friends over at our place last week, you know when your mother and I were out.
Me: Yes
Dad: Well, we have a problem.
Me: Lay it on me. (stomach tightening in fear)
Dad: Your mom just noticed that her jewelry is gone. All of it. Do you think that either Justin or one of his friends may have...
Me: (Through tears) Yes, dad. Yes, I do.

It's just another day in my life with an addict.


  1. Oh Hannah, I am so sorry. I just spent a few hours with a friend who had his grandson find a credit card in his house, while he was in the hospital. He charged all kinds of things to throw lavish parties for 10 days.

    We talked about the pink elephant in the room, and the importance of talking to everyone about the drugs. I asked him why he did not call the police, and he said he was ashamed that it was his own grandson.

    The sane thing to do when you've been robbed is to call the police...but this is insanity.

    I am so sorry.

  2. My day was happily uneventful until now. I an so glad i got to your blog today, just to let you know how sad it all sad I am, for you, your son, for all on earth.

    What in God's world has happened? Who has "taken over" the world? Our children were not born this way. Is it divorce. Was it two-parent working after WWII in order to meet the bills? I have not the answer, probably nobody does. But the antidote HAS to be prayer, deeply humble PRAYER. God IS still there, somewhere--or HERE!

  3. What hurts so is the breach of trust. On the outside they look the same, but the heart and mind have been taken over. If you allow him to stay in your home, you know now you have to secure your valuables. It sucks..

    If your father presses charges, you get him into the court system. He is young, they will put him into a program. Early is so important. My son went through a 6 month county boot camp program, it was excellent. He relapsed, but it kept him a sober longer than anything else ever has.

  4. Oh sorry..but maybe if your Dad presses charges it may help...Just like it may have helped his son...

    My prayers are with you and your family

  5. I choose not to live in denial anymore. I certainly used to.

    But sometimes it is so very painful to live in reality, especially when it is a child or other loved one who is very sick.

    Without my AA and Al-Anon programs I would be totally unable to face reality. I can't do it alone. And it is better for me and my loved one to be in the here and now, facing what is really happening.

    God bless you in this situation,

  6. I'm sorry to hear this and hope he gets help, and finds a desire to become clean. Pressing charges may be the best way to get help, I don't know...

  7. I'm sorry Hannah, I know how hard this is. I agree with Lou, your son needs to realize there are repercussions for his actions. Maybe this way he can be court ordered into a treatment center.

    Parenting is the hardest job out there. More so because you can't change your responsibilities. I remember changing the locks on my doors, soon after my daughter moved out. I could no longer trust her, she frightened me.

    These days Skye has a healthy outlook on life and is happily married. There are happy endings, it's a lot of work and "I hate you" thrown around from our kids. But I have to believe in the end, our love will win out. It's not enough to fix our kids, but it has to be the glue that holds us together. (Hugs)Indigo

  8. OHHHH! I am so sorry! Your poor sweet dear boy and the pain he's in. He's sick. God bless you. Yah, your dad, if he calls the authorities is right to do so. Sometimes the right response is SO painful. You are in my prayers. Long hug...and whispers of prayers!

  9. Oh no Hannah! I know what the others are suggesting my sound harsh, but maybe it will help get this thing nipped in the bud now. If he could enter treatment now the chances are much better then if this drags out any longer. I am thinking of you.

  10. Shit. Baptism by fire for your poor parents.

  11. I am so sorry Hannah, OMG I just feel that sick feeling that you are probably having now.
    Just another fricken awful part of the addiction disease.

    Your poor parents, they don't deserve that.
    Nobody does.

  12. Hannah,
    I agree with everyone, although it sounds so harsh. One of the things my 12-step program advocates is to let go of the codependent cycle with an addict, it's important to let them face their consequences. Otherwise the family cycle will just enable more bad behavior.

    I'm so, so sorry. What a tough situation for all of you.

  13. Thank you all so much for your comments and support. It seems that each time I am close to breaking down completely, there is another comment that gives me the will to hang in there. Knowing that people have traveled this road before us and survived is so incredibly helpful right now. Things are not good in our home and family right now; I'll write more later when I've had some time to breathe and fill you all in. I'm so grateful to you all.

  14. OMG.

    Before I knew about the heroin, my daughter let people in my house. Precious items from my jewelry box were stolen - it was one of the hardest days ever. Things passed down to me that at my "broke-est" I never would have dreamt of selling. Gone. My daughter had "entertained" while I was at work. She was upset too - They had stole from her, too, but she didn't tell me that - only told me when she found out about my stuff. Some friends. Your son may not have been aware that his friends "stole" - but he is still accountable for the company he keeps.

    At other times I came home from work to find TV, Laptop, even my toaster gone! This is another reason you have to let some loved ones know.

    I am so sorry you are going through this

  15. I am so very sorry. The pain one endures watching a loved one slowly killing himself is far to much to deal with. I am glad you blog and share, attend a program and I wish ouy the strength to hang in there. It is a road not traveled easily however so rewarding for yourself. I hope your Dad will press charges, it might help. I keep u in my thoughts

  16. sigh, i too am here from cat, and may be lou..

    steve is right.. prayer.

    i serve a mighty God, but i still feel the pain.

    You are loved
    Brother Frankie
    A Biker for Christ

  17. Hannah (((HUG))) Listen to all of the above. We are all here, extending our hand. We have been there or somewhere close.

  18. you are in my prayers today. may the grace and comfort of Jesus Christ give you peace within the insanity...amen

    i had a dream about ya last whats that about?