tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5693208976461355802.post3598098430116574907..comments2023-08-07T08:05:06.462-07:00Comments on Sometimes, Hope Does Not Float: Mamas Don't Let Your Babies Grow Up To Be Addictshannahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10980282918438570253noreply@blogger.comBlogger7125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5693208976461355802.post-71878677406787302352009-07-15T14:35:56.066-07:002009-07-15T14:35:56.066-07:00Hi Hannah! I'm here from Cat too! I can not ...Hi Hannah! I'm here from Cat too! I can not imagine the difficulty that you are going through. I posted recently about the pain of parents that have children that are addicts vs. the pain of a spouse of an addict, (ME!). I know the pain is worse for you parents. It is easier as a spouse to detach. <br /><br />I know something else though, too! IT IS NOT YOUR FAULT! We can only do what we know best to do and that's all that is expected from us! I know it must be hard not to take the blame as it is your child. I took the blame from my husband for years! However, the only one that is control is the addict him/herself. It isn't about YOU!<br /><br />I look forward to hearing more from you. Your poem was beautiful!Ginhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11927048986907155785noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5693208976461355802.post-12219098945783600832009-07-15T14:20:44.589-07:002009-07-15T14:20:44.589-07:00Thank you Patrick. I know one of the first things...Thank you Patrick. I know one of the first things I need to do is let go of my guilt. It's much easier said than done.<br /><br />Steve, I am looking forward to hearing from you.hannahhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10980282918438570253noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5693208976461355802.post-6191796637427868942009-07-15T14:16:45.459-07:002009-07-15T14:16:45.459-07:00Cat sent me...I'm late for an AA meeting. I...Cat sent me...I'm late for an AA meeting. I'll be back before dark! PROMISE!steveronihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17498524940140288735noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5693208976461355802.post-79767570135782049262009-07-15T14:06:25.793-07:002009-07-15T14:06:25.793-07:00Thordora,
Thanks for your response. I have been a...Thordora,<br />Thanks for your response. I have been a fan of your blog for quite some time, and like Cat's blog, I think it is your honesty that brings me back again and again. Sometimes the truth is an ugly thing, and revealing the ugliness in our lives takes bravery. <br /><br />Our son has been attending therapy for some time, without any improvement. We have him on a waiting list to be assessed by a drug treatment program for teens called CHOICES. Depending on that assessment, he may be able to enter an in-patient treatment facility (if he agrees to go). Thank you for sharing your experience. I think what is most frustrating for us in dealing with our son is that he has had no major hardships in his life. You were dealing with your mother's death, an alcoholic father, and a move. It is clear where your pain was coming from. Our son is angry and in pain, but is either unwilling or unable to tell us why.<br /><br />Cat, <br />Your poem hit home hard and I still have tears. My son is still here in body, but not spirit, and we desperately need him to come back. I have a very tough battle ahead of me. Taking the first steps will be much easier knowing that I am not alone and am not the first to enter this fight. Thank you for your support.hannahhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10980282918438570253noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5693208976461355802.post-9952634458038515182009-07-15T14:02:33.914-07:002009-07-15T14:02:33.914-07:00Welcome to blogland, Cat sent me.
It is not the p...Welcome to blogland, Cat sent me.<br /><br />It is not the parent, it is the addict. My parents were strict about my friends, and they cracked down on me, hard. So I left and lived at the Y. You can help point an addict in the right direction, but the ultimate choice of what they do is theirs alone. <br /><br />There are probably correlations and statistics that state otherwise, but the quality of the home life and parenting really doesn't matter much, imo. Don't be down on yourself. Do what you can to guide him...but I think at his age the choice will be his.<br /><br />Best wishes, and you and your son will be in my thoughts, and evening prayers.<br /><br />and keep blogging.Patrickhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10319146094340817808noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5693208976461355802.post-59436738282904119362009-07-15T12:03:06.623-07:002009-07-15T12:03:06.623-07:00The one impact that I have had because of my child...The one impact that I have had because of my child's use is the knowledge that his friends are so much more important to him than myself and my husband. I know this is a teen thing, but it is hard when it happens, I think I was just not prepared for him to abandon my beliefs as easily as he did and perhaps I saw that as him abandoning me and the family...<br /><br />Strange how our minds works sometimes when grief hits home.Wait. What?https://www.blogger.com/profile/16914656489970904052noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5693208976461355802.post-67612410258348691812009-07-15T11:56:21.068-07:002009-07-15T11:56:21.068-07:00I was pretty much continually high from about age ...I was pretty much continually high from about age 14-18. I was a mess, and drugs were fun. I was never addicted to anything, never had a physical need. But the people I was with were fun, they were there and they listened, and they didn't make any demands on me. At a time in my life when everything else was complete shite (my mother was dead, living in a new town, my father an alcoholic) having people to turn to was fantastic.<br /><br />At the end of the day, I did drugs because I wanted to, much as adults drank a few beers at the end of the night. I didn't talk to my father because he wouldn't understand, wasn't there, or would have immediately go on the attack, none of which would have helped. What did help was his unconditional support when I did move home, and his own attempts to curb his own addiction. Me moving out on my own and making mistakes helped me grow out of it.<br /><br />Putting him out, is that an answer? I was high all the time, but still working and contributing-has he been to therapy, alone or with you? It's your house remember. It's your son, but sometimes we have to let them scream so they can grown, right?<br /><br />I really don't know. I've been there, but will have no real answers if it happens to one of mine.<br /><br />I don't think there are standard answers.thordorahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04162106158955358865noreply@blogger.com